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Teddy G. Goetz

Shame the only audible piece of his sexual history,
He mouthed “gay” in an empty room.

Broken heart yielding a broken rule:
The first word of my reply was “we."

The Science

This poem reflects a moment as a medical student, interviewing a patient in the hospital about his sexual history, in order to determine his risk factors for hepatitis. Medical professionalism paradigms historically have dictated that doctors should be objective third parties, entirely devoid of their own identities and experiences in interactions with patients; for me, that means not disclosing my trans and queer identities. When I made the decision to reveal that I, too, was queer to that patient in that moment, I ‘failed’ to meet the expectations for me as a medical provider. Yet, that ‘failure’ enabled me to help the patient feel safe bringing his whole self into his medical treatment.

The Poet

Teddy G. Goetz (he/him or they/them) is an overly enthusiastic medical student, writer, photographer, biker, runner, and research dork, with a penchant for cooking without recipes and referencing Audre Lorde, Donna Haraway, and Buffy. His goal (as both an artist and a doctor-in-training) is to help people feel seen. His prior training includes an MS in transgender hormone therapy and BS in biochemistry and gender studies, focusing on interdisciplinary scientific research informed by individual embodied experiences. More of his recent poetry and photography publications can be found at teddygoetz.com.

Next poem: dropstone by Hannele Luhtasela