Othered / Othering

Finola Scott

so tight safe held   I stretch    and
   pop    here is different     now
I’m different   legs   I move   different
 hunger  food  mouth  my shell 
 others here the same      all eating 
    here  not safe     move       away

 feel growth   feel tightness   again
I  flex   feel   separate from   myself
 again  again   food   skin sheds  again

 I spread   moult   loosen   but fear    
           abandonment  
   I  belly hug tight   wait wait   some-
thing    is happening   I fold in
           curl   wait    

such waiting   remembering  
   why    what  what  wondering   next

   child no more   I am me   but not
other   now red  round   I reform  wings
   clear wings    in bright spotted cases

     wings so long   ready   to lift  
               folding  
     released     I continue  
      turn solid   harden  

  think   breathe   eat    I am    new   
above light   sky   dimensions   open   
 remade   in 30 turns of the earth
colour  so bright   unlocked   I am me

The Science

I am intrigued by the stages of insects’ lives. My grandchildren love ladybirds, so I thought it would be interesting and important for them to learn the stages of development from egg to flying red bug. I also wondered how conscious the insect larva was of the changes at each stage. Does a ladybird remember being larva, then pupa? What do they think or feel as their exoskeleton hardens? My thoughts were all speculative. Watching an insect shed in woodland, my granddaughter was engrossed. We sat, very still and quiet, as the wings dried… Then came the excitement of that first take-off. I imagined the joy of the cramped space of the egg being followed by the airy release to crawling larva. 

Since then I have researched the subject and been amazed at the findings. In a study, caterpillars were trained to avoid a certain odour using electric shocks. As moths, they continued to avoid that odour. The caterpillars were carefully washed to prevent the odour from remaining on them. This groundbreaking study provoked intriguing new questions. However, it has to be said that insects in general do not possess the capacity to reflect on the past or “remember” as humans do. Their nervous systems do not have the capacity to map out memories, “past”, “present” or “future”. They can learn to avoid certain stimuli, but so can the simplest animals in existence. I have to ask whether the moths in the experiment remembered or learnt – are these the same?

The Poet

Finola Scott confesses writing is a compulsion. She seeks to untangle politics and examine the natural world through poetry. Currently she is working on a Climate Emergency pamphlet. Her poems appear widely – New Writing Scotland, Lighthouse, Gutter, Poetry Business. She knows poetry won’t change the world, but continues to write. Recent winner of the MacDiarmid Tassie, runner-up in the McLellan (Scots) competition as well as the Badenoch Prize, she was long-listed in the Rosemary McLeish competition. Finola writes in Scots and English. A slam-winning granny, she performs regularly. She has three pamphlets to date. She invites you to visit Facebook (Finola Scott) to read her poems and news, or see: www.scottishpoetrylibrary.org.uk/poet/finola-scott/

Next poem: Overwintering by Diana Woodcock